Song for the day

I woke up in the middle of the night last night, and this song was in my head. I guess I needed to hear it.

We all have struggles

I wish that weren't true. I wish that we could be promised a life of ease and free from worry. But, that's not the situation. And, I can honestly say that in the last year, our lives have been very blessed. We have a lot to be thankful for. Today, though, has brought a lot of bad news at once.

First, the thing that weighs heaviest on my heart...my sister-in-law, Ginny, was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS). Ginny lives in Chicago, so we don't get to spend a lot of time with her, but she is so dear to me. When Max and I first met, he took me from Indianapolis to Chicago to visit her and she went out of her way to make me feel welcome and like part of the family. I am fortunate that Max's family all treat me wonderfully, and make me feel like part of the clan, and when they hurt, I hurt. Please lift Ginny and the rest of the family up in prayer as she explores treatment options, and comes to terms with the diagnosis.

Second, after learning of Ginny's diagnosis, Max went to the office only to be laid off and sent home. So, it looks like there will be major changes coming in our lives over the next few weeks or months. Things were getting a little dull around here, what with a steady paycheck and all. I guess we can consider this "Max and Amy's Big Adventure, Part II" (Part I having come in 2003 when he was laid off)

Continuing the theme of choosing happiness (and knowing that I am blessed in all circumstances) I choose to view this as a big adventure. Who knows what might happen? What great job he might find? Where that might take us? I am sure God has some mighty plans for us, and we are about to find out what they are. Like a man in our class last week put it, our plan is "to find out what God is doing, and join Him"

Wednesday weigh-in, 1/28 edition

I've got good news, and bad news. First, the bad news. I did not lose any weight this week. Now the good news. I did not gain any, either! Weight today: 174.0. I actually think 1/2 pound of that is phlegm, so I should lose at least that weight as soon as I am feeling better. Until then, though, 174.0 is 2 full pounds over my goal weight, which is bad news. :(

I have been sick, so forgive the lack of posts. Max and I attended a Dynamic Marriage facilitator training class last Friday through Sunday and it was amazing! Mark and Paula Speich went with us, and we all completed our certifications to facilitate Dynamic Marriage classes at our church. I am really excited about it. I see so many marriages that are in crisis, or just "existing", and it makes me sad. We are hoping to start classes at the end of March. If you are the praying kind, I'd sure appreciate prayers for us.

About "the sickness"...we seem to be passing a virus around the family, and it's my turn to be miserable. I was up all night (well, until 5:30 this morning) trying to find a position that allowed both sleeping and breathing. Since no such position apparently exists, and breathing is not optional, I was awake. A lot. I am hopeful that this will be the last of our illnesses and that we're just getting all of our germs out of the way at once. That way, we can be happy and healthy the rest of the year.

And, in keeping with our sermon series about choosing happiness, I am thankful that today I am sick with a virus. A known entity. Something with a pretty well-defined duration. This time last year, I was sick and hurting and had no idea why. The fibromyalgia diagnosis didn't come until Feb. 23. This time last year, I was scared. And, honestly, felt a lot worse every day than I do right now, in the thick of this ick.

So, though I feel lousy, I choose to be happy and grateful and blessed. I hope everyone else is having a blessed week as well.

Gettin' my mojo back, Peyton-style!

How did he know I am feeling befutzed!? Methinks a little bird named "Jody" told him.

http://www.priceless.com/us/personal/en/extras/suitetalk/index.html?phrase1_id=2&phrase2_id=10&phrase3_id=3&phrase4_id=5&sender_id=595&recipient_id=36&CMP=EMC-PCOM.US.Peyton08TAF

Wednesday Weigh-In, 1/21 version

Well, I saw this coming. The chocolate chip cookie dough straight from the mixing bowl Saturday night. The mini-pizzas baked on yummy Grands biscuits. The fried tofu veggie dish I had last night. All wonderful. All yummy. All very fattening. All eaten for entirely wrong reasons: stress, nervousness, depression.

Today's weight: 174.0. Up one pound.

Today's diet (thus far): coffee (one cup 'doctored', two cups black) and a baked fish fillet for lunch. And the promise to myself that I will exercise sometime today.

This weekend is our training class for Dynamic Marriages. That means we'll be in a hotel Friday, Saturday and Sunday (here in Austin, but still not at home) and eating out all our meals. I am nervous about that many restaurant meals...I am notorious for overeating in restaurants. I will be looking for salads and grilled meats to help keep the calories in check. And, I might even take a spin on a bike in the hotel fitness center.

Wish me luck.

In a funk...but looking forward to Change

I am in a funk. Have been for a week. We have been sick (one or all of us at any given time) since New Year's Eve. I am feeling overwhelmed by everything. I am making progress toward my goals (although I am worried about tomorrow's weigh-in) and generally keeping my head above water, but feel as though there is something wrong. Or rather that something is just not right. It's very unsettling.

Gretchen says this is my midlife crisis. I think she's probably right. Suddenly, I am evaluating who I am, what I've accomplished, etc. and it looks pretty bleak. I guess I just thought I'd be more together at this point in my life. I just thought it would be easier, I suppose. (silly me)

That said, I sat and cried watching the Inauguration. What a moment. I am getting teary-eyed now, writing about it. It really felt, sitting on my couch folding laundry, like *I* was a part of history. Olivia watched it with me, and we talked about how 40 years ago this would have been unheard of. She seemed to get it, but I know it will mean more to her as she grows older.

That Thoreau...smart guy...

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. — Henry David Thoreau

I crack myself up!

I just re-read my last post. The phrase "repainting walls with cats" brought to mind a vision of me dipping Molly into the paint and smearing her across the wall. You should have seen the look on her face (in my head). HAHA!

Yoga and Cats

Yoga and cats do not mix. Last night, I was trying to do yoga. I say "trying" because I wasn't doing very well, even with lots of help. First, as I sat with the bottoms of my feet together to lean foward to stretch, Genius came and sat between my legs. Then, when I lay down on the floor to do a side stretch, The Molly Lama came running as fast as she could toward me, stopped, licked my nose and then ran off.

This does not bode well for repainting walls with cats. But I did manage to do some yoga. And discovered that I am really bad at it. My muscles are quite tight...not the "cute in a swimsuit" tight, but "hurts to move at all" tight. I am looking forward to a lot more flexibility as I continue working on it.

Wednesday Weigh-In

I'm in a funk today. The bright spots thus far have been Olivia rolling around on the hide-a-bed, watching Harriet the Spy (she felt like rolling around and being silly!) and weighing myself. Yes, weighing myself was a bright spot! I have lost another 1.5 lbs, bringing my weight down to 173.0.

I was honestly surprised to see a loss. I am feeling hungry all the time and felt like I was eating more than I should. I didn't exercise last week, except for a trip to the gym for cardio last night.

As promised, I mapped out my weight goals and set some milestones. These are based on my target weight loss of 1 lb. per week.

173.0: Today
170.0: 2/4/09
160.0: 4/15/09
150.0: 6/24/09
140.0: 9/02/09 (on my Mom's BD, 9/9, I should have my first weight in the one-THIRTIES!)
132.0: 10/28/09 Goal weight!!!

Funny thing about that goal weight, and the timing of it. You've heard the women who say they would walk down Main St. buck naked if they could lose weight. Well... I (stupidly) told with Max last year that if I lost all the weight I needed to lose, I'd wear one of those black Catwoman bodysuits for my Halloween costume. LOL! Now, it looks like I may have to keep that promise since I'm scheduled to hit my goal weight three days before Halloween. How embarassing. It would have been cute at 23 (I think it *was* cute at 23!) At 37, well, I'm not so sure. We'll see how the "sands have shifted", as Mom says, when all the weight is gone.

Missing You, Bubba

You are loved and missed every day.

My brother, Mike Uland
08/31/58 - 01/14/05

Finally feeling better

Whew, whatever that bug was, I don't ever want it again! I think we're all finally feeling better. I am woefully behind on everything now, but guess I'll catch up eventually. It has not been a good week for exercise (unless you count being the one to fetch the Mucinex as "exercise") or for eating. I've been hungry constantly and haven't felt like doing anything active to keep my mind off of food. I also haven't weighed. Don't think I want to know.

Here's hoping that I continue to feel better and can exercise early this week so that my Wednesday Weigh-In isn't *too* embarassing. :)

Sarah, great to see you at church today. You looked beautiful.

Today is Weigh Day!

Drum roll please!
Today's weight is........174.5! Down from 179.0. That is a loss of 4.5 lbs this week. (Yes, I do sometimes teach math to a second-grader)

I must say I am a bit surprised. I have been sick, but not the diet-friendly stomach kind of sick. More the diet-busting sinus-y kind of sick that causes one to sit up at 2 in the morning craving Cheetos because they are the only thing strongly flavored enough to break through the phlegm barrier.

That said, I did work pretty hard at making good food choices and increasing my water/fiber. I know not every week will be like this, but wouldn't that be AWESOME!?

I think I'll set my weight loss goals at 1 lb. per week, to account for muscle gained along with fat burned. I'll figure out when that should have me at my goal weight and post that, along with some milestones to celebrate along the way.

Blog find of the day

I found this post this morning on a blog called "whatever" by Megan Duerksen. It was as if she had seen my Oprah rant yesterday! I could really relate to what she had to say. I deleted her pics, but the rest of the post is complete. Go here to see it on her blog: http://megduerksen.typepad.com/whatever/2009/01/blah.html

-- copied text --

Blah.

that is how i feel.

ready but not really ready for a new year.

feeling defeated...exhausted...worn down.

BLAH.

i watched 2 oprah's last night...not good when you are having a pity party.

i felt worse than when i started.

i know in my head what i need to do.

but getting myself to actually do them is so tiring.

i will.

today.

i have to.

besides....even waffle is getting fat because of my laziness.

taking down the christmas decorations will help.

clean table tops.

cleared out rooms.

getting a few drawers cleared out.

that will help.

bottom line....i must get moving so i can feel better so i can BE better for my family.

if i am exhausted all they get is crazy mommy.

tired yelling mommy.

and even i don't like her.

God gave me this perfectly healthy body and here it sits...wasting it's potential.

that is so wrong.

this verse struck me today:

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty Power.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand

against the devil's schemes." Ephesians 6:10

the devil's schemes?

my desire to sit around and eat mint brownies for a month.

my desire to watch tv instead of read my bible.

my desire to stay up late and not give my body the rest it needs.

my desire to sit at this computer and not get things done.

so i am putting on the full armor this morning.

and i going out for a walk in the cold sunshine...for exercise and vitamin D.

i am sick of feeling like this.

this helps too.
(I kid you not...she ACTUALLY had a picture of what looks like a Sonic drink here with a handwritten note from a friend on top)

friends are awesome.

thank you.

ok oprah....i'm off to live my best life!

HA.

Thank you GOD (not oprah) for these thoughts.

this mind.

this body.

the Holy Spirit inside me moving me to be what God wants.

not oprah.

FlyLady Control Journal

I am starting (again) to work on creating a control journal, a la FlyLady. I have notes scattered from the times I've tried previously to do this. I am hopeful that I'll actually come up with a workable version in the next week or two.

Here's the link to her steps to create a CJ, if you're interested in doing it for yourself:
http://www.flylady.net/pages/cjmain.asp

Contentment? What's that?

I have been chatting with Heather today. We both want to make big changes this year and need accountability. We also need ideas. Let's face it, if we were Oprah, we could just hire our personal chef and trainer, have the house redecorated, buy a new car instead of fixing the old one, etc. But, we're not Oprah. So, that means we have to do stuff ourselves, and find budget-friendly ways to do it.

I still think this falls under the category of "Fourth Quarter Comebacks" Although I hope I am not yet in my fourth quarter, the principle applies. We have messes, and we need to fix them. And we need to do it sooner rather than later.

So, she and I purpose to work together this year with whomever will join us to set attainable goals, hold each other accountable for our progress, cheer each other on when it seems like the only thing in the world that will fix a horrible day is a big giant vanilla coke from Sonic. We would love to have the support and input of our Bible Study friends, but certainly don't want this to become a chore for you! If you want to actively participate, please do! If you want to just read and comment, feel free. If you want to pretend that this idea never came up, I wouldn't blame you a bit.

What does this have to do with contentment, you ask? Something just occurred to me. Most of the stress I feel (other than health-related stuff) is because I can't find things, I have clutter around me all the time, I feel like things are out of control. I get that. What I just realized is how that contributes to my feeling of discontent. And feelings of wanting more, bigger, better.

I just put some bread on to bake, and was in my pantry trying to extricate a bag of flour from the four or five different kinds I have packed onto the top shelf. Dangerous stuff. When we moved here, and I organized my pantry, I put the few feeble baking supplies I had on the top shelf. I was a career woman! I loved to cook, but who had time!? Now I am a stay-at-home-Super-(step)-Mom-Extraordinaire, and I need that stuff. And I need it where I can access it without risk of head trauma.

Immediately, my mind jumped to the grand plan I have to knock out a wall in my pantry, join it to my laundry room and make one ginormous utility room. But I can't afford that. Then it occurred to me that I really need to just devote an afternoon to reorganizing my pantry. So, it doesn't work as it is. Big deal. There is still plenty of room there. I just need to make it work for us now. I need to be content.

I began to wonder...I am often discontent, wanting more, wondering if I should be out working rather than staying at home, but do I even:

1. Know all the things I have? I am always finding things I forgot I even had, often broken, expired or useless from being forgotten.
2. Use and love the things I have?
3. Take care of the things I have? Sure, I'd love a new house (and I always picture it looking just like a model home, even though it'll have all my junk in it, not their fancy stuff), but what about my house? Am I taking care of it? I need to paint, repair trim, etc.
   
4. Realize that we are paying a mortgage on a home to store stuff? And getting more stuff makes me think I need more room. I wonder what the "rent" is on the items that I am holding onto needlessly, that "necessitate" me living in 2600 s.f. when 1500 would probably work. (think IKEA)

Organize. Purge. Clean. Repair. Repurpose. (Don't just throw it away! Make it useful!) Reduce. Reprioritize. And finally....Glorify God. Remember that it is by His power that we accomplish any of these things and all of them should be purposed toward serving Him, and being better stewards of what He has given us so generously.

These are our goals, as I see them. Feel free to beat us up about them and keep us on track. And let me know if you want to join in! Heather and I thought we might try to get together next week and set some short-term goals. The more the merrier! (hint, hint, Ellen, the Organizing Queen)

Crockpottin' kind of day at Casa De La Garza

Olivia is sick. I am recovering, but am not quite well. Max was well enough to drag himself to work, where he was told that he looks like "death warmed over" and will be sent home just as soon as he can be spared to leave.

I had some grand goals for today when I went to bed last night. Turns out a few of them are going to have to wait until tomorrow. But, I did do the following:

• scrubbed and put about 20 sweet potatoes in the oven. I'm going to mash them and freeze them for later. (they were really cheap at Costco last week, 29 cents per pound) The fun part will be when they are done baking in an hour and I'm too tired to deal with them! :P
• dropped a chicken carcass (from an HEB rotisserie chicken) into some water in my small crockpot to make homemade broth
• put a chuck roast on in the second crockpot with potatoes, carrots and gravy. This was actually quite exciting for the frugal homemaker in me...I got a huge roast at Randalls for $6. It was too big to fit into my crockpot so I cut one big bone hunk out, and realized that it is the perfect soup bone! So, I'll get at least two full meals, plus leftovers, out of one $6 roast (with a couple dollars of veggies tossed in)!
  

Sadly, my biggest goal for today won't be met...getting started on school with Olivia for the new year. She is not well enough today to focus on much of anything. I plan to read with her later, but am letting her rest and watch SpongeBob right now.

My other project for today is continuing to organize my calendar, coupons, schedule, etc. I did a half-hearted meal plan for this week but can't make it work because of quite a few unknowns...namely whether we'll be here or able to go do things. I made my coupon organizer last night, complete with nearly 80 different categories (I have a lot of coupons...if I don't narrowly define the categories, I stand in the store for 5 minutes at each item, trying to find a coupon) Today, I plan to "stuff" my organizer, finalize the meal plan and make my shopping list.

Also, we're going to do another round of freezer cooking this month. I need to plan a menu, budget and schedule for that.

Madagascar Vanilla Red tea

This stuff is AWESOME! It's nice and sweet on it's own...just amazing served really hot with a little honey.

Now if it only had caffeine. I'll have to see if they have a "loaded" version available. :)

Successes and failures

Ugh, what a horrible game last night. Horrible. It was so frustrating to see us unable to convert on interceptions, etc. I knew the Chargers would be formidable, but had hoped we'd get past them.

Oh, well. No sense crying over football. Again.

On a personal note, I have not posted an update on my resolutions. I am failing miserably in quite a few of them. I have not read anything except web blogs and news. I haven't studied my Bible at all. We have been sick, so I have not been exercising.

However, I do think I've been making some healthier choices in my diet. We'll see on Wednesday if they were enough to bring a bit of weight loss w/o meeting my exercise goals. Changes I made:

• Trying to cut back on coffee or at least make it less fattening. I have also found that an emergen-C in the morning gives me an energy boost, so maybe I can replace coffee with that.
• Drinking sparkling lemon water (you know, Perrier or LaCroix, but the HEB version) instead of soda, juice, etc. Increasing my water intake while cutting calories.
• Buying more fresh produce. I am trying to snack on veggies and add more to my meals (baked sweet potatoes last night filled me up and were very healthy)
  
• Eating a big salad before each meal to fill me up before I start eating the more fattening entree.
• And, the obvious one, cutting back on butter, sauces, dressings, etc. I don't do artificial sweeteners, so I am just cutting back on sweets period.
  

I'll post my weight on Wednesday. I am trying to figure out a realistic weight loss per week to maintain until I reach my goal. I think 1 lb. per week is reasonable because I hope soon to be replacing fat with muscle. Two pounds per week might be too much to expect if I am building muscle at the same time. Anyone reading? Anyone have experience in this area? I don't want to get obsessed about a weight number, but need some measurable goals to keep myself motivated.

Peyton Manning, MVP! Again!

I am so anxious for the game tomorrow. We have lots of injuries to worry about, but we have something that San Diego does not: A 3-time league MVP under center. Go get 'em, Peyton!

Coupons, coffee, other random thoughts

I found a way to use expired coupons. Adopt a military base at http://www.ocpnet.org/ and mail the coupons to them. They can be used on base for a while after they expire. Sweet! Makes me feel not so bad about coupons that expire because I didn't find the perfect price match sale.

Coffee. You know me, it's an addiction. But I am not a fan of black coffee, and therein lies the rub. As in "rub my Buddha belly" 'cause it's getting that fat. I love 1/2 and 1/2 or the flavored creamers, and am sure that starting my day off with two cups of fat is probably not the best way to go. I've tried teas, but am just not a big tea fan. I've tried skim milk but it just makes my coffee weak and gray. And I don't do artificial sweeteners (allergic, or at least get sick when I use them) so I'm in a quandry. If anyone is reading this and has ideas, let me know.

PeytiePie. My posts have been strangely PeytiePie-less for the last couple of days. Did I mention that I resolve to meet him and Coach Dungy personally? Yeah, I resolve that every year. Good thing for my dear Sis who will bail me out of jail when I get arrested for trying to carry out my plot, er, resolution.

I digress...back to PeytiePie...looks like he's front-runner for league MVP. I wonder how that will affect their playoff performance. I think that might be the nudge they need to get over the San Diego hump. I have very high hopes for the playoffs this year. Reminds me so much of January '07, when we were limping into the playoffs, having been under the radar. I think the Colts play best without a bye week, on the road, because the underdog status fuels them. So, here's to tomorrow, to Peytie showing the world why he's the MVP, making up for last year's loss. GO GO COLTS!!!

Accountability. Blech.

Current (sad) state of affairs

Height: 71" a.k.a. 5' 11" (here's hoping this is the only number that does NOT decrease this year!)
Weight: 179.0 lbs. (wearing happy pants, a t-shirt and sweatshirt)
Right Thigh: 23.25"
Hips: 40"
Waist: 34" (ay yi yi)
Bust: 40" (OK, I also hope this number doesn't decrease. Well, not much.)
Right Upper (Uland) Arm: 13"
Jeans size: 12 (Old Navy); 16 (V.S. according to their size charts. Stupid V.S.); 34x34 guys Calvin Klein

Goals by 12/31/09
Height: same (gotta remember to take my calcium and do weight-bearing exercise!)
Weight: 132 lbs. (loss of 47 lbs)
Leg and Arm measurements: unsure. I didn't track those at 132 lbs. I just want to be toned up by year end.
Hips: 36"
Waist: 26"
Bust: 36"
Jeans size: 8 (Gap long and lean) I want to be a size 6 again, but pregnancy has moved my hips to places that will never again fit into size 6 jeans.